What I learned from Marie Kondo my wardrobe
Pre-Story
If you know me, you’d be surprised to hear this. I have had a complex history with fashion and how I look. I was uncomfortable dressing myself, looking at myself in the mirror if it is public, I thought girls who spend time dressing up are shallow and unmotivated. I was jealous of my older sister. She was the skinnier one; people always complimented on what she was wearing, what bag she was using. She’d also comment on how I looked, the pimples on my forehead, and what clothes would suit me better. In an attempt to avoid competition and criticism, I think that’s why I stopped trying altogether and pretended for 20+ years that I don’t care.
Marie Kondo — Magic of Cleaning Up Your Closet
The majority of my clothes were bought 5+ years ago, I rarely buy new clothes and I inherit clothes from my sisters (and now my husband). I thought this makes me a minimalist (despite the closet is full of things I don’t need) and an environmentalist (despite I could re-sell the clothes).
As the closet overflew and my self-exploration deepened, I realized I was afraid to find my style; that’s why I conveniently took charity from other people’s wardrobes.
I want to look like ‘me’.
How difficult is Marie Kondo
It does take a bit of motivation to throw all your clothes in one pile, but once it is all on the floor, you kinda just have to roll on haha.
Overall it took me a whole Sunday to sort all the clothes into 3 piles — keep, sell and donate.
- Keep: if it sparks joy
- Sell: if it doesn’t spark joy + is in very good condition and a popular brand
- Donate: the remaining
I didn’t read Marie Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I mean.. just look at the title, I’d be skeptical. So it came to my total surprise that I was emotional when I decided to let go of some clothes, especially many are clothes I enjoy wearing regularly and find very useful.
It was emotional because I was saying goodbye to an old self. As I was deciding which clothes to stop wearing, I was also making a conscious decision of what I didn’t like about myself in the past and what I want to keep.
Goodbye— other people’s opinion.
Goodbye — the embarrassment of the past
Goodbye — settling for okay and worrying about not being able to find better
Goodbye — dressing like someone else
Goodbye — thinking other people dress me better
Goodbye — taking responsibility for other people’s mess
The lessons
When deciding which clothes to keep, I learned that:
- I want to let go of other people’s opinion of me
- I want to believe I can make the best decision for myself (including fashion)
- I do not miss compliments made by others when I’m wearing somebody else’s clothes
- The age, brand, price of clothes didn’t matter — what mattered was the quality of life I had with them
From today on I pledge to:
- Make conscious decisions when buying or adopting clothes.
- Treat my clothes well
- Take my clothes to places that create good memories
The Aftermath
It was a magical moment when I finally hung all the supposedly joy-sparking clothes in the wardrobe. It was as if the old me finally met the new me; it was as if everything made sense; as if none of what I went through was wasted.
Initially, I was filled with hatred, resentment, and regret towards the clothes I decided to give away, as they represented memories I was not proud of. I also felt insecure looking at the for-sale pile in comparison with the to-keep pile. A voice inside me said the for-sale pile (mostly taken from other people) seemed more fashionable compared to the dull to-keep pile (mostly bought by me).
Then I suddenly remembered what Marie Kondo said in the Netflix show <Tidying Up with Marie Kondo>, thank the clothes (so obviously not resent them). True. I wouldn’t want the clothes to be worn by others if they carried negative feelings.
So. Thank you clothes. Thank you sisters for sharing your clothes. Thank you clothes for walking me through a phase of my life when I’ve grown tremendously.
I wish you (clothes) can spark joy in someone else’s life from today on.
